I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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