he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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