garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
You left your phone here
Wait...
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