I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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