they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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