remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize