Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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