at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
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I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
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Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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