Texts From Last Night

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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.

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  (519): Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone. http://tfl.nu/1akv
  Replies (12) Good night (1190) Bad night (421) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.

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  (402): What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho. http://tfl.nu/a5a8
  Replies (43) Good night (5133) Bad night (748) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.

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  (281): I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT. http://tfl.nu/8oew
  Replies (144) Good night (9940) Bad night (646) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.

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  (716): i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby. http://tfl.nu/gnwv
  Replies (35) Good night (4132) Bad night (1082) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  What did I eat last night that was bloody?

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  (515): What did I eat last night that was bloody? http://tfl.nu/w6f4
  Replies (19) Good night (632) Bad night (6574) Order T-Shirt
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?

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  (308): What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts? http://tfl.nu/w182
  Replies (21) Good night (8709) Bad night (917) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  the ceiling is raining jello shotss

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  (443): the ceiling is raining jello shotss http://tfl.nu/ruds
  Replies (4) Good night (3752) Bad night (913) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."

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  (412): I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this." http://tfl.nu/x2qj
  Replies (4) Good night (2492) Bad night (960) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.

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  (214): The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to. http://tfl.nu/ot3b
  Replies (2) Good night (1664) Bad night (465) Order T-Shirt
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless

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  (774): Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless http://tfl.nu/p1o5
  Replies (4) Good night (1729) Bad night (549) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides

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  (617): I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides http://tfl.nu/z2rz
  Replies (2) Good night (1644) Bad night (487) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.

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  (905): i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth. http://tfl.nu/negs
  Replies (1) Good night (372) Bad night (812) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.

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  (585): She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me. http://tfl.nu/s5wp
  Replies (3) Good night (426) Bad night (755) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.

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  (480): I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified. http://tfl.nu/m5g1
  Replies (2) Good night (216) Bad night (409) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one

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  (307): There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one http://tfl.nu/1hhb
  Replies (8) Good night (916) Bad night (304) Order T-Shirt

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