Moan for me like Helen Keller
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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