I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
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