We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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