Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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