One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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