Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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