He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
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When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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