Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize