I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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