You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize