my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
My underwear smells like fireworks.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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