So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
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Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I have tasted many bathrooms
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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