hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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