I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
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I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
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Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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