I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize