you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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