it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize