Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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