I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
What a dumb baby whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Randomize