but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
NoShamevember. You game?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize