I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Duck Duck Cougar?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
They took my balls.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
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