I feel great
I just peed on a car
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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