Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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