I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
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I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
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I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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