buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
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