Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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