I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Never joke about your clitoris.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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