i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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