hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize