The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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