There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
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Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
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Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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