Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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