you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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