I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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