it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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