I heard we made out
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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