Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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