I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize