I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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