He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
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he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
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That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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