i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize